By Kim Weeber.
Mindfulness, Sati, is one of the key teachings of the Buddha. It’s one of the first things we hear about when we learn about Buddhism or meditation. Mindfulness is one of the Factors of Awakening, and is part of the Eightfold Path which can lead us to freedom from suffering.
But how do we understand mindfulness? I used to think that it was something I had to do. I would “try to be mindful”. I remember winding myself up into knots on a retreat because I was trying so hard to be mindful when I was walking. That was a misunderstanding.
Culadasa, in his neuroscience teachings, recommends noticing moments when the mind lets go of grasping onto a thought, and it suddenly feels like you are here again. Mindfulness has arrived. The sense of presence is open and spacious. And, these moments of mindfulness arise due to causes and conditions. They are not under our conscious control.
Our choice in this is to practice the intention to be present, to intend to fully experience this moment, and to intend to let go of whatever thoughts we were caught in when we notice them. As we practice this over and over again, the sense of presence and awareness becomes stronger and more continuous.
As awareness becomes home base, it becomes clear that fully experiencing this moment is the basis of living a free life. Attachment to thoughts about our life moves us away from the direct experience of just being here. When we are attached to our thoughts about the past or the future, we are missing the experience of this moment. And being here now can be experienced as real freedom.
By choosing to let go over and over, and returning to the full sense experience of this moment, there is less suffering. This doesn’t mean that all unpleasant circumstances go away, but it means that we stop resisting how our experience shows up. In letting go of resistance, we let go of suffering. And why not be present to our lives the way they are? After all, this moment is all we have!
I find the experience of mindfulness is what naturally happens, or is left, after a subtractive process. The subtractive process includes dropping distractions, then my judgments and thoughts about what’s being experienced, then the subtler mental overlays of being a self separate from what’s being experienced, then the subtle sense of distance from experience. Gradually things shift to a sense of being totally immersed in, of being one fabric with what’s being experienced. At that point there’s nothing left but an inescapable, natural, inevitable sense of “mindfulness.”
I like your point about trying to be mindful when in fact being mindful is about just being. I have found over time that there is a noticing when I shift up into my head, into thinking mode and a subtle sense of ease when I step out of thinking back to present moment awareness and being.